Friendly reminder to you this eve of Halloween — YOU CHOOSE HOW YOU COPE WITH THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU.
Life is absolutely not always going to go as planned.
Curveballs will be tossed and feel like bullets on impact.
The worst always happens when we least expect it and for type-A planners like us, it’s challenging to say the l e a s t. It's almost too easy how quickly life can change and how quickly you can downward spiral when it does.
But, you have a CHOICE. You choose the direction you spiral.
You choose what you learn and what you lean into.
You decide how you cope.
Just because others around you may choose different, less-than-healthy measures to deal with their problems, doesn't mean you have to follow suit.
I teach my Type-A 1:1 clients how to create a COPING TOOL KIT of non-negotiables to help them through the muck of the unknown and wanted to share 4 pieces to that puzzle with you today.
Here are 4 ways to build up your OWN Coping Toolkit:
1️⃣ASK FOR HELP. Now, I know you're not the type of person to ask for help 99% of the time. But in these kinds of situations, it's alright to admit that you could benefit from some support in whatever form that works best for you. Confiding in one close friend, a family member, your mom, a therapist, your higher power - whoever it is, they're there to help and they want to help.
2️⃣NON NEGOTIABLES. Set up non-negotiables that you KNOW make you happier and keep you sane. Journaling, eating breakfast, making my bed and working out/being active are examples of my personal non-negotiables. The cool thing is, your non-negotiables are personal to YOU and can be of small or large magnitude. If getting coffee from Dunkin daily makes you feel like the best version of yourself - do it. If watching cringe-y reality tv to unwind at the end of the day helps settle your active brain, then allow yourself to watch an episode or two. Cling to the things that keep you feeling grounded and put them first.
3️⃣COURSE OF ACTION. It's good to have an outline, or a plan in mind for when "it" hits the fan. Something general and overarching that keeps you feeling in control even when your life feels like you have people pulling you in different directions from both hands and both feet. Simple things like laying your gym clothes out the night before, getting your overnight oats prepped for the morning, setting up a speaker in your bathroom to play tunes while you shower and get ready in the morning. Similar to the Non-negotiable list, these things help future you from a breakdown when you accidentally drop your bowl of oatmeal on the floor. It keeps your boiling point low and your mind level so that even in the moments you COULD feel you don't have it all together, you can say "at least I did ________ for myself."
4️⃣LEVEL-HEAD. Heighten your awareness by reminding yourself that not every day, week, month is going to be sunshine and rainbows. This doesn't mean you have to live with a lingering cloud of melancholy fear hanging over your head because you're constantly waiting for the worst. But it means keeping your mind in a place of gratitude when the GOOD days happen, so that you aren't as stressed nor surprised when the bad days ambush here and there. I recommend something as simple as a gratitude journal where you take 3 minutes of each day and write down 3-5 things that you are grateful for.
Taking the time to build up your tool-kit helps ensure that your overall mindset is one of balance and flexibility when it comes time to cope with a less-than ideal life curvebullet.
It's crucial to take care of yourself during eras of stress.
It's okay to permit yourself to feel.
It's normal to not be okay every day.
If you have questions - I am here to help. Feel free to email me firstname.lastname@example.org or DM me on Instagram @michele.jeannette to chat more!